Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Week 4, how we doin' now?

"Be in love with whatever is happening around you. YOU cause your own happiness. Happiness is an emotional thing, not physical. Define what it is you want." -Chef O'Malley.

I'm trying to remember how pumped up I was last night after his long spiel of "profound shit" he fed to us whilst sitting here right now feeling like a snot bomb exploded in my cranium. I was so pumped up, I was up til 4am just thinking about everything. The above concept is something I've been searching to grasp my entire life. I let every little thing going on in the metaphysical universe affect me. I worry. In fact, I waste precious time worrying about elements I can't control. Not to be repetitive, but it's exactly why I couldn't take the pressure of being a performance musician. And I hope it isn't the demise to my culinary journey as well because I am continually seeing similarities in everything. They are both a form of art. But even if they do have the same elements, just because those things crushed me and made me falter when I was 18, doesn't mean they can conquer me now. I need to learn to get over it or else I'll continue living my life working a job doing something I'm completely unsatisfied with. And the prospect of that is well worth the uncomfortable moments of facing my fears.

Anyway, I swear that class goes by faster than a bag of cheetos at a weight-loss convention.

Right now, I realize that I suck. I suck BIG TIME. But I do my homework, and I am on time, and I wear black socks, and I press my white coat the night before class, and I consciously practice "mise en place" throughout every moment of my daily living, and I have no problem doing what I'm told, or living like a robot for 2 years if it means that these Chefs will pass on to me a fraction of their "badassery".

So many people were thrown off when told to say goodbye to the person sitting next to them because more than likely either you or they won't make it to the end.Chef O'Donnell told us at the beginning of foundations that he wasn't going to bother learning any names yet since he knew half the class would be gone by the 3rd week. Well, he was right. Honestly, I think it shows students that Metro ICA is not a dumb, sub par, easy-breezy cooking school that anyone can have the priveledge of graduating from. Its program is designed to produce great culinarians, and if you don't cut it, you're hosed. Why should you have your degree handed to you? That's not how anything in life is. Sadly, that means you could possibly spend 2 full years time and money on school, but if you burn your cheeseburger(a poor example) at that last moment, the one moment that matters, you walk out empty handed. Why? Because that's what this business/art/craft is all about. You're only as good as your last dish.

So for now, I'm fine with sleeping 2 hours a night so I can be prepared for the next day, traipsing through an 8 hour foundations class when my head is full of cotton, cutting carrots until my fingers turn permanently orange, doing what someone else tells me to do just because they tell me to do it. I'll wear black socks, I'll press my white coat. I'll take off my nail polish and make up. And I'll cook. I'll keep cooking until I don't suck anymore.

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Musician,Chef, Nurse.

I'm not currently having an adventure in food per say right now. I suppose I am at Panera Bread mooching off their wifi, and just consumed some of their tomato soup(which I love, and can't wait to figure out how to make....but even better). I have eaten so much spicy, acidic food in the past two days(between the Thai, the Pizza, the Chipotle Chicken Sandwich and now this tomato soup) to give me eternal heartburn...doesn't help that I've been washing everything down with lemonade.
Psh. Oh well. It was worth it. Except for the pizza...I would've rather skipped out on that.

Anyway, I just felt like writing. I have 15 minutes before I have to leave and sit in that dungeon of a hospital for 12 hours. I suppose I really shouldn't be like that. I do enjoy my job, as much as I possibly can, and I really do gain satisfaction out of interacting with people, making their day just a little better(or I like to hope anyway). I was working up on the Psych Unit the other night and the charge nurse started talking to me. She said if the culinary thing doesn't work out, I should definitely consider nursing because she can tell I have the heart for it. Maybe I do have the heart for it now, but I know that 5,10,15 years down the road, I'm going to be getting farther and farther away from the patient just like almost every other nurse I've worked with does. It was the same for me with music. By the end of my senior year, I didn't enjoy playing anymore. The stress and competition completely took it out of me. It made me forget why I played. It made me think I played just to show off myself, and not the actual music.
Cooking is different though. I enjoy the rush(even if I don't admit it at the time), I like the competition, and I like the end result(generally speaking here....if everything turns out, I like the end product, on the table, and watching people "get off" so to speak at the taste of my food. Like Chef says, Sex and Money. That's what we're all about.)

I've had some unfortunate shit go down with the financial aid department. Apparently, I'm going to have to keep working four 12 hour shits a week plus my 3 days of class to stay ahead. I wish I could find a food service job that pays as well, then at least I'd be benefitting from the experience. Olive Garden is still hiring, and I've got my cover letter and resume' ready to go...so I might try that. It's at least a start.

Well, I better pack up and go here. Everyone have a great night!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Rice the right way.


I have to admit that after the last week, I was slightly terrified to come back to class in fear of another epic fail. As I was explaining to my mother, cooking in this school/commercial kitchen is nothing like cooking in the comfort of my own…but I’m gaining ground I think and familiarity is starting to fall into place.
The class shrunk just like Chef said it would. I couldn’t believe it. It was a much calmer day than last Tuesday. It didn’t quite have the “bunch of chickens running around with their heads cut off” feel to it.
This week was rice cookery, and honestly, I’ve never cared a lot for rice until this class. My problem was trying to make my rice out of a box. It always tasted like nothing to me. Once again, I was doing it all wrong. I will NEVER buy instant, out-of-a-box crap rice again. Well, I never really bought it anyway, because I thought it tasted awful. But now, I’m certainly going to look into investing in some jasmine and basmati rice. * Family and friends who are reading this, please, go buy a bag of jasmine rice now. Leave the computer, and find a respectable store that actually sells it from a valid location (Texas doesn’t count)… you haven’t lived yet. I was just born this past Tuesday. *
Our group made Chicken and Shrimp Jambalaya, Risotto with Mushroom Broth, and Brown and Wild Rice Fruit Pilaf. I had the pilaf, and this is something I feel like I need to have on hand at all times. I don’t think I could ever get tired of it. I did manage to mess it up in class though. As usual. But I perfected it at home. I didn’t even think about soaking the wild rice beforehand…so it turned out undercooked, but had great flavor. Chef tried to help me by putting it in the steamer, but the steamer wasn’t having one of its best days so our attempt failed. It was still very pretty to look at and I ate it anyway.
I really enjoyed Laney’s risotto. I had never had risotto before, and it was heaven in my mouth(…I’m getting a little cheesy aren’t I? Ha. Well, there WAS parmesan). I enjoyed Barbara’s Jambalaya as well.
Aside from all of that, I went to visit my best friend Emily at UNL yesterday and I told her we had to try somewhere different to eat. She was up for it, and I wanted to try Thai since I love it and haven’t had it since I was back in Tennessee. We found a place called Blue Orchid and had a great experience. It was a great atmosphere, our waiter knew the menu front and back and described different flavors to help Emily get an idea of what she wanted. She ordered the Thai Basil and I ordered their signature “Orchid Chicken” which was served in half of a carved out pineapple. They were both SO spicy (of course I ordered a side of chili paste), but wonderful.
Here are some pictures for everyone to enjoy!



And I have some from mine and Emily's experience at Blue Orchid but those will come later.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Dropping the ball.

My 2nd week of culinary school was a far less pleasurable experience.

Why?

Let's see. We jumped(or more like leaped) from eggs to NY Strip Steaks cooked medium rare, pan-seared and grilled, creamed spinach, twice baked potatoes, pommes anna, and pommes duchesse. Let's just say, I attempted to leap, but instead stumbled and collapsed into a metaphoric crumpled disaster.
Everything in that one 8 hour class day that could've gone wrong indeed DID go wrong. (I probably shouldn't say such a thing, because things can always get WORSE). Even my knife cuts were less than satisfactory. I don't know if I was thinking about it too much or what. It certainly couldn't be that I wasn't focusing enough, because I'm pretty sure my brain was on the verge of explosion just from all the focusing I was doing. On cutting up a carrot.
Chef mentioned something about muscle memory and it took me back to a conversation I had in high school with my band director, Mr. Gotcher. It gave me an inkling of hope. I remember Mr. Gotcher saying to me, "It's not a natural human thing to stick a flute up to your face and stretch your fingers in all kinds of strange ways to reach certain keys and to make your lips make the perfect embouchure for getting the perfect tone. Which is why you must practice the correct way every day, and eventually, those muscles will just naturally do it for you." Well, I sure as hell hope things start to fall into place for me just like they did as a musician. Because those carrots were not sexy. And I'm going to have to be able to do much more difficult cuts in the future, so I better step it up.
Besides carrots, I was responsible for making the creamed spinach for our group. I honestly find it hard to mess up creamed spinach terribly, but I did. How? The recipe is quite simple. De-stem, wash and roughly chop a pound of spinach, simmer for 10 minutes, sautee' half an onion, strain spinach, add to onion along with cream cheese, sour cream, and parmeasean cheese. Season mixture with kosher salt and white pepper. Put into remekins, top with sauteed bread crumbs, bake for about 20 minutes.
It sounds like a pretty disaster-free recipe, right?

Well, not necessarily when you're a nervous wreck and when salting the mixture, and mistake the sugar for salt. Actually, everyone at my station "salted" their dishes with sugar(which resulted in a nicely caremlized steak at least). After running through the events in my head, I felt like a complete incompetant idiot because we should've used kosher salt anyway which is like 6 times the size of a grain of table salt. I suppose when you're just scurrying around trying to get everything done, the thought process of such simple things doesn't quite compute as efficiently.Dealing with pressure. This is a skill I must master if I want to continue to work in this field(which I whole-heartedly DO). And I've never been one to deal well under pressure. Under intense inspection or judgement. Being in this kitchen with Chef O'Donnell takes me back to All-state orcehstra auditions in high school. I practice at home, I do beautifully, I stand in front of a judge to play my piece, I fail epically. But, there is hope, because I know for a fact that the more I practice on controlling my nerves by throwing myself into such situations, I will eventually be able to deliver competantly.

My steak turned out mediocre I thought. I had no idea what oven to put it in after pan-searing it, and by mistake stuck it in one that was at 325 degrees. I must learn to not rely on what everyone else is doing just because there were 2 other steaks besides mine in that specific oven. After about 5 minutes of having an "Aha! moment" and realizing it was in the wrong oven, I quickly moved it to a hotter one. It turned out slightly more rare than I usually like, but it was still...edible. I say edible because everything, by the time our class had finished cleaning and plating our dishes, was stone cold. I am not a fan of a cold steak. Is there anyone out there who is?? If so, maybe you'd like my restaurant.

Anyway, I felt like I was in a state of confusion the entire class. And that is not a comfortable feeling. Especially coming from me, a person who feels extrememly insecure anyway, but outrageously insecure when not prepared.

I'm going to cook all of these dishes this week hopefully. It doesn't matter that I work 4 twelve hour shifts at that wretched hospital, I will get them done. And I will post pictures for all of you to see. Wish me luck!

EDIT** Here are a few pictures...unfortunately I fell short on my promise and didn't get the potatoes done but accomplished the steak and spinach. Been a hell of a week. But a good one! Stay tuned for another update from our rice cookery class(which went much smoother that my steak and potatoes).
















And for those of you with a sweet tooth, I made these cupcakes last week at 2am when I couldn't sleep and took them to work. Dark chocolate cupcakes with coffee cream cheese frosting. They turned out quite yummy.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Un jour.



I was beginning to wonder if the hot, relentlessly humid Nebraskan summer was ever going to come to an end. I've been anticipating the start of Fall for primarily one reason and that is Culinary School. I've spent about 8 months preparing for the move to Omaha from Sioux Falls...a slightly daunting task for a barely 20 year old. Although I find complete independence to certainly be a challenge, but riveting all the same-especially when striving toward one of my greatest passions (FOOD).

The past month and a half was probably the most difficult because I finally made it here, but without the company of friends, it has been difficult to enjoy. I began working 60+ hours a week only because I personally found the blaring alarms of a telemetry monitor in a hospital to be more comforting than staring at my blank apartment walls.

I started to grow very anxious about my first day of school. I would talk (or attempt to talk) to my coworkers about school, about cooking- it was obvious how much I love it. However, talking to a medical professional about my passion for cooking was quite similar in talking to my blank apartment walls. The only difference was they were able to provide me with a verbal response...a subtle nod of the head, slight sympathetic smile, accompanied with an "Oh, ...well, that's nice." All of these instances made me grow even more impatient for September 7th to arrive.

Well, as you have probably gathered, that first day has cam to pass and I sit here 2 days and an entire flat of eggs later with excitement still coursing through me.

I found myself surrounded by passionate, eager-to-learn, like-minded individuals...and our leader? Nothing short of spectacular (I apologize Chef, but I did have to find the opportunity to suck up just a little). But honestly, any doubts that I ever had of choosing Metro's Institute for the Culinary Arts for my Culinary Education had vanished half-way through Chef O'Donnell's lecture. Throughly impressed is truly an understatement.

Our first lab in the kitchen was eggs--
Scrambled,sunny-side up, over0easy, poached, soft-boiled, hard-boiled, omelets.
All this time, I never imagined I'd been cooking scrambled eggs incorrectly my entire life. No wonder I never cared for them! My mother used to make them for me as a kid....dried up, browning , crispy, squirrly yellow curds accompanied with a big ol' bottle of ketchup. Thankfully I've now passed on Chef O'Donnell's simple brilliance and my mother now makes delicious, moist, creamy, melt-in-your mouth scrambled eggs as well.
[Hey Mom, I apologize for using you as an example. I would still contest that you're one of the finest, most creative, innovative cooks out there ;-) ]

Besides the scrambled eggs, we spent the time flipping eggs(over-easy) without a spatula-goal end result being egg still in pan, yolk in tact, and not overcooked. Surprisingly, considering my lack of gracefulness, my egg did not end up on the floor, however did end up a broken, over cooked disaster.
We later proceeded with the french omelet. We were to cook it, plate it, and present it to Chef to taste. My mind completely skipped the whole "making it looked presentable" process and I slapped it on a plate that was already somewhat covered in chunks of stuck-together cheese, sprinkled some leftover sauteed remains of what was inside, and rushed it to Chef. This resulted in him asking the question, "Now, do you think you would really serve this to a customer? What would you think if this plate were brought out to you?"
And so, with my imaginary tail between my legs, I headed back to my station and attempted again, only to fail miserably...and run out of class time. After arriving home, I became determined to execute everything proficiently...and as I said, a flat of eggs later, here is one of my better results(but still far from perfection):
.......ok, well after much technical wrestling, I'm going to give up. Bloggr is adamant on posting the pictures BEFORE the actual blog...so, sorry to ruin all the suprise. It's a spinach,ham,and mozzerrella omelet...it's not perfect, but it was the best result I had before collapsing into my bed. Better luck next time I hope.